Ok so a quick rundown of my weekend is in order ^.^
Friday, I spent the day mostly with my mom, she made me get my hair straightened and paid for me to do so...cause I'm sadly still jobless >.> But it was an eye opening experience because first i realized how long my hair had actually grown, and then I realized how much I don't have to pay another person to do my hair. But the hairdresser did say that I should get my hair twisted because it would open my scalp and allow my hair to breathe which would in turn allow it to grow. I like what she's saying, and I kept saying before I cut my hair that I wanted to get it plaited or twisted, well now I've got a reason. But in my search for places to get this done, until I'm confident enough to do it on my own, I realized once again just how broke I am :-( But meh...so then I took my mom to this Mediterranean restaurant where she enjoyed a pocket sandwich made of veggie goodness, she was happy and so was I. It was a day spent bonding and learning, it was necessary and much appreciated, maybe it wasn't so bad that I didn't go to PA after all.
Saturday, started of incredibly weird, because it was honestly the first saturday I didn't work since after Otakon weekend, weird but true. I rarely know what to do with myself when I have no plans, I usually try to occupy my time with people and when that doesn't happen...well...crickets...
So i woke up and got straight on my computer and sent at least 20-30 more job applications to places that are hiring, what bothers me alot about these jobs is that they are looking for experience, and what better way for me to gain experience then to be within the environment. But I know time is money and I don't fault them on a business policy that everyone adheres to, I just am looking for someone to be the guinea pig, for someone to take a chance on me, because I'm worth it, I know I am. I just hope that out of the 100 or more applications I have completed now that someone will take the chance on me. After that I took a nap -___- And woke up and went to Justin's grandma's party, there was this little boy...I wont even get started...lets just say, if he was my little brother he would have lost his life a long time ago..But overall it was a nice gathering filled with food, memories, and love. After this gathering DODGEBALL! haha which I've never been to before and was too scared to actually play...why when I come around is there always drama? Not to say I started the drama but man...UGH! lol
Today, has been chill, I ate good food and now I'm sitting here pondering...
A guy once said to me, "...you're used to being liked aren't you?" And I said, "Yes, I am. Even if someone doesn't like me, it doesn't phase me because there will be another person who will." Then he said, "Is that why you're such a tease?" I honestly don't mean to be a tease, even during the times where my self esteem was at an all time low, guys still liked me, girls still liked me too. There has never been a time in my life where I felt unliked, sure there have been times where the person I wanted to like me didn't and it hurt, but at the same time, there was someone else to fill that place. Not to say that I expect people to like me but to say that it's just hard for people to walk away from me...
I have guys all over me often, not in a conceited way, in an unwanted attention way. And this is not cause I'm asking for it, its because people are attracted to me. I can't even count how many people have told me they love me, and i think, "You don't even know me." And what is it you think you feel for me? What do you even like about me? I just never understand why people flock to me, and that guy was right I am used to being liked. And I have dreams all the time about losing the things that make me who I am, and if people would still like me as much...And regardless of it they do or don't I like me, sometimes I hate my scars and wish I could erase them but then who would I be without them...
All in all there is one man I wish would love me, and I don't think he's right, I feel like he's wrong for me. We have so much history, and he's there but at the same time he isn't...
Mori Girl X Etsy
So I've been finding the cutest scarves that are sometimes crocheted like flowers, or leaves, or other things from nature and I wanted to upload a few because they are everywhere in etsy as the season changes into autumn.
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| Ok so this scarf is $35.00 which is expensive, but it's handmade, wool and resembles a rose and its branches. |
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| Another expensive scarf costing the buyer $43.00, also handmade, the roses are actually removable as well to accommodate your chose in outfit. |
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| I have ordered from this lady before actually, She makes her items by hand as well, this scarf will run $13.00 (budget!) and it can be worn as a head band, belt or scarf because it is adjustable. ...I can't find a place to hide, even though I try to avoid you, I can't reject you, I'm imprisoned by you, your whisper's the Lucifer |
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